HellMart
by Tenaj
Summary: Everyone wonders what happens to a Nobody when they die, but no one actually knows. When Axel dies, he reawakens on the cold floor of a Wal*Mart. The dead Organization members are being forced to work at WalMart! Together, can they escape from this hell?
1. In which Axel awakes in WalMart

**Author's Notes: **Where do Nobodies go when they die? Wal-Mart! Me and my best bud are co-writing this fanfic, and suggestions are always welcome! If you haven't played Chain of Memories things may not make a great deal of sense, but you'll just have to learn about the characters you don't know very well as you go. Some decisions are based off the manga, some off of theory, and others off of the pure facts presented by the lovely Wikipedia. This fanfic takes place after Axel's death. Organization members that die after him, like Luxord or Saix, aren't in the fic. At least not yet.

**Disclaimer: **Axel belongs to Organization XIII, which belongs to Xemnas, which belongs to Kingdom Hearts which belongs to Square Enix and Disney. Walmart is Walmart and belongs to Walmart. McDonalds... same story, different business tycoon. The idea for this fanfic belongs to my friend Neva, who's cowriting it with me! If any of the events in this story seem to match reality, tough luck. It's fiction, so that'd be merely a coincidence. The views expressed on various stores, resturaunt chains, etc are shared purely by the writers of the fanfic.

**

* * *

The Afterlife: Wal-Mart**

Everyone wonders what happens to Nobodies when they fade away, but no one actually knows. Do they disappear, consumed by the darkness? Do they find their hearts and become born again? Or do their minds float around in nothingness, forever lost?

Well, our freaky darlings, we shall enlighten you, as we have discovered what happens after a Nobody fades away. We will tell you of the lives they then lead, enslaved forever as laborers for the most evil thing of all things evil. We shall write to you about the horrible things they encounter as our two favorite Nobodies attempt to escape hell, for they are eternal slaves to the most evil of evils:

Wal-Mart.

Yes, we told you they were enslaved by the most evil of evils, and we weren't lying! So let us start our story with our most beloved, red head, Axel, who after putting all of his being into destroying a large amount of Dusks, faded into nothing. Because you see, then he awoke on the floor of the dreaded Wal-Mart.

* * *

Axel thought he was supposed to be dead, but apparently he wasn't. His head hurt, as if he had been bashed over the head by Sora's Fenrir keyblade. Due to his head's throbbing, he figured he was very much alive. 

Opening his bright green eyes, the first thing he saw was a black sphere set against a white ceiling, surrounded by mold. The second thing he saw was a smiling, pale face with sparkly (insert color of Demyx's eyes here) eyes and dark blond hair.

"...Demyx?"

The smile grew.

"Hello Axel, and welcome to Hell-mart! -uh, I mean, Wal-Mart!"

"...Demyx?" Axel repeated.

"Yeah, bud?"

"Please - stop talking."

Demyx's eyes narrowed. A spiraling headache was something Axel usually acquired after talking to Demyx, but since he already had one, talking was undesirable, to say the least. Demyx stepped away as Axel began to stand and take in his surroundings. A wall full of shades of pastel pinks momentarily stunned the red-head so he spun to face the opposite wall in a vain attempt to escape the pink-ness. This new wall was covered with an equal amount of pastel shades of blue. Blue or pink, the objects lining the walls remained the same. Women's underwear. This realization coming full circle, Axel stared at Demyx's face with something akin to horror.

"If this is a store, as you said, why this aisle?"

"All the newbies show up in this aisle." Demyx shrugged.

"But why this aisle?!" The pyro demanded.

A very perturbed woman and her daughter poked their heads down the very feminine coloured aisle at the two arguing bishies.

"Woah, woah, cool it," Demyx motioned Axel to calm down, "People are already staring, and if the manager finds out about this, then we're in trouble!" He hooked an arm around Axel's shoulder and guided him away from the women's underwear aisle and away from the staring female shoppers, trying not to look suspicious.

"Demyx, you have a lot of explaining to do!" Hissed Axel.

"I know I do, man, I know. Umm... listen."

Demyx forcefully sat Axel down on bench next to the in-store McDonalds and cleared enough space between them so that it was close enough to remain a private conversation, yet far enough away so that Demyx could wildly use abstract hand gestures to get his point across, which he was prone to do, while also far enough away so that Axel didn't attack and maim him, which Axel was sometimes prone to do when angry. Okay, so what if Nobody's can't feel anything? It's a very rather scary imitation of actual anger.

"When I died, uh, I guess you could have called it died, I showed up here at this WalMart. Zexion was there to greet me at the underwear aisle, 'cuz like I said, all the newbies show up there, because there's this little green light that goes off in those black security camera bubbles-," Demyx made the shape of a bubble with his hands and pointed to one in a nearby corner before continuing, "-whenever someone from the Organization shows up. Like, a lot of us from Castle Oblivion have shown up here-"

"Oh great." muttered Axel, mentally counting how many Organization members from Castle Oblivion were dead because of his doing.

"Isn't it? Anyway, I came and got you 'cuz the little light went off and Marluxia insisted it was my job because I'm not good at doing anything else."

"That's really great, Demyx," Axel replied, voice dripping with sarcasm, "But that doesn't explain why us... dead... Organization XIII members are showing up in a WalMart."

"...I know it doesn't. But, then again, we haven't really figured that out yet either."

Axel rubbed his forehead. His headache wasn't fading and Demyx wasn't helping the matter.

"Axel, the _MANAGER_ will know you're here, and they will be expecting you to work in the store, too."

"Me? Work in a lowly shopping mall? Hell no! And why do you say manager like that?"

"Everyone calls him, well maybe its even a her, the _MANAGER_ in that tone. I don't think any of us, except maybe Marluxia has ever seen the _MANAGER_."

"Well that's because Marluxia's a glory hog. Always placing himself in power playing positions." Retorted Axel with a smirk.

Just then, Larxene walked up to the guys, the smell of french fries and deep fat fried hamburgers wafting up with her. Her feminity was accentuated with a frilly McDonalds apron over her Organization coat and a McDonalds hat eclipsing her blonde hair. Come to think of it, Axel realized that Demyx was also still wearing his coat, albeit with a name tag.

"Ah. Hello Larxene." Demyx said formally, with a nod. He turned to Axel, "She works in the in-store restaurant because the _MANAGER_ says its-"

"Aesthetically pleasing to have a blonde female serve food to overweight men of a certain age group." Larxene quoted with a small frown.

Axel relaxed back into the wooden bench and gave a half-wave, "Hullo, then."

"Axel," she said pointedly, "Did you just get here?"

"Just got here," he assured before asking, "Do you know why the heck we're here?"

"No, but I do know something interesting - we can't leave this WalMart."

"Interesting? How's that interesting?"

"Because the automatic sliding glass doors don't open for Nobodies," Larxene said crossly, "And I've tried walking out with a crowd of shoppers, only to walk into an invisible barrier that literally makes noise when you tap on it."

(...the said noise sounds something like "ping" and "clang" ending up more like "pluh-kang".)

Demyx nodded vigorously and added, "I got in trouble for trying to use an emergency exit door, same thing."

In a vague attempt to get into the swing of things, Axel asked, "So, when do I get a spiffy name tag?"

"What? That's all your going to ask?"

"...I had more questions but I suddenly feel as if they're unimportant. Wait, hmm... how about... do we get paid and who is this _MANAGER_ person anyway?"

"Now that's one question... we're not allowed to ask." Said a very sullen-sounding Zexion as he somehow appeared on the bench next to Axel. Of course, he always sounds rather sullen, so at this moment he wasn't particularly any more-so sullen than he normally was.

Zexion's mouth twitched, that being the closest he ever comes to actually smiling, and muttered randomly, "We Nobodies can go without sleep longer than normal people."

He paused and eyed the masses of shoppers in the checkout lines with his classic emo-tastic-ness?

Axel, Demyx, and Larxene stared at Zexion. Whenever Zexion paused in speaking, it was hard to tell if he would continue or not. Though most of his pauses were indefinite, whenever he did continue he usually had some worthwhile input to the conversation. Slowly, Zexion looked towards Axel, his hair falling coolly over the right side of his face. Some whisper of what in ordinary people would be an emotion caused Axel to ponder if Zexion "forgave" him for suggesting to a Riku clone that he should dispose of Zexion.

"This store is open 24/7 and the _MANAGER_ knows we don't have to really sleep, so our shifts... just... don't end. It's not right, mistreating us because we aren't normal."

Axel sat bolt upright, "Working all night and all day? Now that's unfair! Don't we even get breaks?"

"...we get six fifteen-minute breaks. Also, three meal breaks, which are half an hour long. The manager has also had it arranged so that none of our breaks occur at approximately the same time."

"Except the meal breaks, which I have Marluxia and Lexaeus and Vexen," said Larxene, "Demyx has his with Xaldin and Zexion, so I assume you'll be stuck with them."

"Ow..." said Axel, "Marluxia with Vexen? Those two have been conspiring against eachother since... forever."

"...yes, but Marluxia is still in power. At least, he is in his own head. It makes lunch entertaining, to say the least. I ignore them all anyway. Reading."

Demyx nodded, "I'm an exception to the breaks because I'm the guy who wanders from department to department so people can always find someone they can ask for help. No matter where they place me to work, I always break something. Like short circuit the cash registers. Or knock over displays." He teared up dramatically, "Or accidentally murder innocent goldfishies."

Axel furrowed his smexy cut-off eyebrows, but didn't question Demyx's antics. He could act so... well, whatever. Point is, it was still acting, and even Demyx had a bad side.

A blaring announcement came over the loudspeaker, "This is your WalMart position-right-below-_MANAGER _speaking, Marluxia, announcing Zexion better get back to his cash register, and Larxene that her break is almost up. Demyx is to bring Axel back to the Department of Management to fill out his --insert mock laugh here-- application. Yes, Axel, we know you're here. And we've been waiting."

Axel stared at the ceiling speaker and found the entire announcement highly presumptuous of the management to assume he wanted to work. Not that Nobodies really wanted anything. But they didn't not-not want anything, either. They just didn't like being ordered around. Wait, Nobodies don't like either. Hmm, either which way, though a series of complex psychological experiments, the Nobodies just didn't care anymore. Which left them one of three things... confused, stubborn, or easily manipulated by whomever had authority over them.

He looked to his comrades. Well, they were forced into this slavery, so... he probably didn't even have a snowflakes chance in hell to get out of this. Axel cursed under his breath and felt the itching need to light something on fire...

* * *

The Department of Management was at the back of the store, through two doors, and about the size of a large closet. Demyx explained that Marluxia had claimed it and turned the "office" into a small green house. Standing before the door Demyx look Axel square in the eye and said simply, "watch out for the plants," before opening the door and shoving him inside. 

"Thanks Demyx, you're so freakin' brave."

"Oh Axel, sweetie, please try not to swear in front of my darling plants."

...and there stood Marluxia in all his pink haired glory, hugging a potted plant that appeared to have pearly white fangs. He smiled slyly and put the plant down. Axel froze as the fiend approached him and then suddenly slapped the right side of his chest.

"AHHHH!"

Axel leapt back against the door.

"Why'd you hit me!?"

"There's your spiffy name tag." Marluxia's smile never left his face as he handed a permanent marker to Axel.

Axel looked down at his chest where a shiny piece of duck-tape had been slapped onto his coat. Numbly he took the permanent maker.

"So why's it duck-tape?" he wondered aloud.

"Budget cuts." Marluxia frowned as he said it answering Axel's question as he attempted to write his name on the piece of duck-tape without screwing it up too badly. And this process was all upside down for that matter. A three year old could probably have written better.

"Uh huh." Axel pretended to understand and handed back the foul smelling marker. Glancing nervously at the vines that were creeping towards him, he spoke again.

"So uh... Can I leave now?"

Marluxia looked up at him from where he was on the ground next to the tiny desk, humming to a vicious looking purple and green plant. His eyes held a dazed look and he nodded absent mindedly before going back to humming to his plants. Axel quickly departed from the plant infested closet. Breathing deeply he leaned against the door and sighed with relief.

* * *

**_MANAGER's _Notes:**

I) Xemnas - Obviously not dead yet.

II) Xigbar - Sadly not dead yet. Would work well in the Weapons Department with all the guns. And laser tag. That's his thing.

III) Xaldin - Dead. The Whirlwind Lancer. But where to place him?

IV) Vexen - Dead because of Axel. The Chilly Academic. He needs to go somewhere icy... maybe the Frozen Foods Department.

V) Lexaeus - Dead. The Silent Hero. Very muscular... will place him in the Packing and Shipping Department. Manga says he likes puzzles... Hmmm...

VI) Zexion - Dead because Axel told Riku clone to kill him. The Cloaked Schemer. Currently in the Customer Service Department, which includes the checkout aisle.

VII) Saïx - Not dead yet. The Lunar Diviner. Now that over half of the Organization is dead, Xemnas treats him as second in command. Saix was the first to brand Axel as a traitor to the group.

VIII) Axel - Dead. The Flurry of Dancing Flames. The main character. Where will he fit in best?

IX) Demyx - Dead. The Melodious Nocturne. He's not as poor of a fighter as he thinks he is, but he is one of the youngest of the Organization. If it weren't for his clumsy nature, he'd fit in well with music or water. Think he would flood the electronics department?

X) Luxord - Not dead yet. The Gambler of Fate. He'd fit in well with the board games...

XI) Marluxia - Dead. The Graceful Assassin. He's always friends with those in power, and has taken a huge role in the Management of HellMart. I mean, uh... Walmart. Did we mention he likes rose petals? Self-proclaimed pretty-boy, if you ask me.

XII) Larxene - Dead. The Savage Nymph. She's the only female member of the Organization. Marluxia has placed her in McDonalds. She was another friend of Axel's, and may cause trouble with him in the near future... If she fails at her fast food job, she's going to the Books and Magazines Department. She reads in her free-time anyway...

XIII) Roxas: ... The Key of Destiny. He's not dead, but he's with Sora.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Review!! Your reviews will inspire us to continue... 


	2. In which Axel nearly burns down WalMart

**Author's Notes: **Thanks for pointing out that Demyx can work in the electronics department. Actually, that's where I put him today, you'll see. Let's hope he won't flood that place, too, ne? Oi, and you'll notice in our writing that we make up a lot of words. A few choice words today include _worthwhileness_, which means "in a state of being worthwhile," _Subordinatal_, which means "an act done in subordination," and _spaztastic _which is more of our own little word that requires some explaining.

_Spaztastic _refers to the spasms of happiness one gets while reading a fanfic that makes them feel fangirlly. And then the tastic part comes from the ending root of the word fantastic. Any and all words herein can be followed by a -ness and they will mean, as with worthwhileness, "a state of being." So spaztasticness is also a word. Have fun making up your own words!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own any of the characters. I didn't even buy the games at full price. I bought them at a used game store. But hey, they were just as good.

* * *

Zexion stared at the woman on the other side of the checkout counter and wiped her items over the laser and deposited them in the plastic WalMart bag. Such a mediocre job. He gazed cooly from the last item he swiped to the outdated black-with-green-font computer screen. The woman swiped her credit card, Zexion pressed a couple of hard, plastic buttons, the woman took her bags, and the monotonous process continued with the next person, a small balding man. 

_Mindless peons_, thought Zexion. What kinds of darkness dwelled deep within their hearts? What secrets? However, none of them held any apparent worthwhile-ness. Their Heartless would be just as insignificant as they. No Nobodies, and definitely no new Organization recruits, could possibly come from these... fools.

The short, stubby, balding man tried to make some joke about the weather, which Zexion up and ignored. It's doubtful he even recognized it as a joke.

* * *

Axel folded over his arms and wandered through WalMart. This place was huge and maze-like. Every corner turned led to more aisles. He stood in the center of a particularly large intersection and found the sudden urge to take a piss. 

"Bathroom... bathroom..." muttered Axel, spinning around, "Bathrooms belong near walls, right?"

He squinted down the nearest aisle. No, that one was cut off with another aisle. He looked to his left. A tall looming wall of posters swayed in the nonexistent breeze much like a pair of swinging bar doors in a black and white country western. Well hey, there's a wall.

Axel strolled down that aisle, suddenly engrossed in the wares of the shelves. Towels. Nice. Air fresheners. Okay. Candles... Woah - hey! Candles! The pyro momentarily forgot his quest for the bathroom and admired the candles. He knew little, cared little, rather, about candles except that they were a colorful stage for flames to dance upon. Axel's eyes darted up the aisle. Posters. Back down the aisle. Towels. Two devious eyes floated back down to the candle in his hand.

"_BURN BABY_,_ BURN_!!" Axel exclaimed with imp-like glee. The candle's wick burst to life. Accurately, five more on the shelf in front of him also flicked themselves on as if on cue.

With some inference back up to that country western theme, Axel pointed his fingers like guns at random candles and began to shoot mini fireballs at them like an outlaw in a wild gunfight. Complete with his own improvised "pew-pew" and "bang-bang" noises...

...fifty brightly lit scented candles happily lit and dancing later, Axel went on his way past the posters that fluttered in the nonexistent breeze and disappeared around a corner. Suddenly that was a rather large explosion, causing Axel to stop and stare back in the direction from whence he came. However, being oblivious and uncaring as he was, he shrugged it off. All thoughts were now back directed towards finding the restrooms.

* * *

Suddenly Marluxia discovered an odd sensation tingling through his body and found himself leaving his tiny hidden office in search of a soda. While wandering he stumbled upon a word that described the... feeling. He deemed it a craving. A physical need for something. Unfortunately, the craving was for soda and he rarely traversed to the world beyond his office except on occasion to the security office where the video feeds appeared. 

Humming a techno song he couldn't remember the words to, Marluxia turned down an aisle only to run into a wall of fire. After falling upon his rear, he scampered backwards several feet.

"Oh dear... this is NOT GOOD."

Leaping to his feet, he ran through the aisles attempting to find one of the little red switches to sound the alarm.

_Must find water!_

* * *

_((We argued at this point whether or not we should let the whole place burn down, but upon remembering properly, the Organization XIII members can't leave the WalMart, so if they stay... they **burn**. ))_

_((For purposes of "plot" in this fanfic, I considered having the sprinklers not go off. I don't know why they haven't. I just don't. But more to the point... something does have to put the fire out, else all of the Organization members will burn.))_

* * *

Because Marluxia left his office, he failed to notice the flashing red alarm that was already going off that would have warned him that a third of the store would shortly be up in flames. Not that he would have seen the afore mentioned light through all the ivy clinging to the control panel. 

...Axel, however, continued on his way to the little boy's room unbeknownst to the fact that all the candles exposed their flames to the air fresheners which decided to explode. Thus causing the towels to explode in a giant ball of fire.

Demyx, completely engrossed in a game of Dance Dance Revolution in the electronics department, didn't notice a flash of pink hair fly by. And before he knew it, he was whisked off his dance pad by Marluxia. By now, hordes of people were running away from the fire, making the process of getting back to the said fire rather difficult. Much like a salmon swimming up stream. All of a sudden Demyx was thrust into the bonfire that had once been aisle ten.

_HOT! TOO HOT!!_

Instinctively, Demyx summoned water to protect himself, and along with it, his sitar. _Great_, he thought, _this inferno must be Axel's doing. _It always seem to be his job to fix Axel's pranks. Okay, so some of them were genuine accidents and others stemmed from some sort of innocence Axel had regarding how dangerous fire could really be. Axel once lit the curtains on fire in Castle Oblivion. Who had to put them out? Demyx, of course.

Surely lighting curtains on fire was the equivalent of Demyx flooding a room because he figured the castle needed an indoor swimming pool? But no - Demyx got in WAY more trouble for that incident than Axel ever got in for any of his pranks. Maybe because fire can be reversed and water just can't be.

Axel may be member number eight, but Demyx was right below him at nine. Demyx found it rather unfair to have to clean up after, look up to, obey, and respect someone whom he could simply douse in water and render temporarily powerless and unable to fight back with their fire element. But oh... there'd be hell to pay if Demyx attempted that. Regardless of age, intelligence, physical, or elemental strengths, the Organization ranks were based on order of joining, And these ranks were upheld. Was Demyx angry with Axel? No. Jealous? No. A subordinatal craving to put Axel in his pace? Oh, hells yes.

Coming back to his senses, Demyx was being shaken by a dripping wet Marluxia. The burnt remains of the aisle between nine and eleven were soaked, and the floors were a puddled mess, and everything in visible sight was absolutely drenched. Oh goodie. Marluxia spoke first.

"You will... have to mop this up..."

Demyx turned and stared at Marluxia.

"_Me_?"

Marluxia dropped him a_ 'yeah-you'_ look and Demyx let his sitar dematerialize before crossing his arms.

"Y'know, man..." Demyx retorted, "We respect you for your leadership skills and such... and you are running with the _MANAGER _and all, but... we aren't really hot on the idea of working here, so, in the end, we could just refuse -"

"- to work?" Marluxia asked, pulling a rose out of thin air to play with absently, "You know very well we won't feed anyone who goes on strike."

"We're already _dead_, so I'm not so sure if we still need to eat or _not_... BUT, Marluxia, you are still a lower ranking member of the Organization than me. And from what I've heard from Axel, a traitorous one, at that."

Marluxia paled some. Not only had his _MANAGER _threat not worked, but Demyx also seemed to have just threatened _him _in counterattack.

"...so, just to put you in your place..." Demyx continued, "You mop this up."

Demyx turned away and walked off down the smoldering remains of the aisle. Marluxia wanted to shout some indignant remark, but no words of protest ever left him... Marluxia slunk away in the opposite direction of Demyx in search of a mop.

* * *

An unknown figure in an unknown location somewhere deep inside HellMart... I mean, uh... WalMart... was monitoring the security cameras with a cheshire grin. One held Lexaeus lifting a heavy crate and walking around a corner. _Flick_. The screen changed and there was Vexen, hiding in a small cold storage fridge with a pencil in one hand and a notebook in the other. It was likely he was planning on cloning himself so he could get out of work. _Flick_. Larxene was trying to zap flies out of the air. They must have distracted her from reading in her French book that was written by some dude who shared in her sadism fetishes. _Flick_. And Zexion was... _wait! _Where was Zexion? 

The _MANAGER _pounded the table with a fist and glared at the empty monitor. Zexion had closed and left his checkout counter and it wasn't even his break yet! The _MANAGER _flitted to the other side of the dimly lit room and turned on a computer screen, the side of which was lablled in permanent marker, _Mr.Tracking Device Box_. The MANAGER tried to get _Mr.TDB_ to locate Zexion, but the machine sputtered, faltered, and died.

"...curse that meddling Zexion... he destroyed the tracking device that was planted on his him..."

The _MANAGER _stared back to the other screens. Taking unauthorized breaks was one thing, disappearing without notice was another. A sign of rebellion. _No! It's much too soon for this charade to end._ The _MANAGER _growled at the thought.

* * *

In the process of finding a mop, Marluxia also found a bunch of drugged up teenage idiots. A small tendril of an idea grew in the back of Marluxia's mind. 

"Hey... teenagers!"

One of them looked up at him blearily and he smiled.

"You guys need more drug money?" The entire group looked up at him with eager eyes.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Okay so there was one more spaztastic moment of humor at the end, but now it truly is the end of this chapter. It took a long while to write this, because we're writing this at school in a notebook and passing it back and forth. I'm proud of myself for getting it all typed up. 

Anywho, review? Arigatou!


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